In some ways I am getting more and more in tune with my inner child when I am with Wesley all day long. I play kid games with him, sing nursery songs, and try to see the world from his perspective. But I am also feeling the stress of being an adult. Weird because I am not working anymore. But there are so many adult decisions to make! Right now we are looking at if we can buy a house or not. All of the craziness of budgeting, looking at interest rates, housing costs, property taxes, fire insurance, maintaining a home, saving for college for Wesley, life insurance, health insurance, etc. is a bit overwhelming lately. Today it left me missing family a lot. I have lived away from family for a long time now. But having a kid makes me wish even more that I didn't. I imagine Wesley having cousins to play with, and me having someone I can just stop in on when I get lonely. Days like today I think the modern world, with all of its technological advances, makes us more isolated sometimes. If we didn't have the option to call, would we really even consider living 800 miles away from our family? I just wish I could sit at the table with my sister, and talk about life. Or have my brother come and look at a house we are considering and tell me how he redid his windows and if it was difficult.
And don't get me wrong. I am feeling seriously blessed with my situation in life right now. I have an amazing and kind husband who realizes all of the work I do taking care of Wesley and appreciates it. I have an amazing son whom I get to see grow up, and hang out with every day. I am in a position where I can consider buying a home, instead of looking at a mountain of debt to pay off. Life is pretty good. It would just be better with family to share it with.
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