A lot of random thoughts running through my head. School started this week so a lot of them have to do with that. I also taught again today for the first time in a while. Both have been pretty difficult. As I am intimidated by this new task of another quarter to make it through, I try to remind myself that this is not the hardest thing I have been through. Graduate school is tough. Teaching is also draining and difficult. But I have been through more difficult things in my life, more trying times, more pain. So I try to be grateful that these are my current challenges and not the other ones. It is hard to keep that perspective when you feel weighed down by life, but I am working on it. At least I am alive to have these challenges. I don't know why I let them get to me so much either. Why do I let this constant weight and pressure form? Why am such a perfectionist and so driven with school and work? Seriously need to relax about things. I guess it comes with caring though. I am grateful that I do have the ability to care. It just comes with its own challenges.
Today was a tough day though. I had to teach and a I am still not over my cold. 2 1/2 weeks of not having my voice. We learned about Laryngitis in one of my classes this week. I found it ironic as I coughed my way through that class. So I had to make it through 12 hours of teaching without much of a voice. And since it was the first week of the quarter my students knew nothing and it involved pretty much 12 straight hours of me talking. Not the funnest thing in the world. It also frustrates me that my students didn't get the best me today. I know they learned some stuff, but it could have been better. I hate it when my energy level is not what I want it to be, which happens a lot. On a positive note, because this entry has a lot of complaining, there was one bright spot in the day. I have a new birthing video I am showing in my lab. I liked it a lot and found it the most accurate of any I have seen. And, it totally traumatized my students. It was awesome. I love it when I can gross out nurses. The best part was it made the other TA's nauseated and grossed out as well. One of them kept asking me over and over again if that is what it is really like, and if so why do I do it? I thought it was hilarious to finally give them a glimpse into my world. I followed the video up with a bunch of stories from the hospital. I guess the day wasn't a total waste... =)
5 comments:
I feel you, Karen. Life is tough the first bit of a semester, because you realize all that you have to do for the next many weeks. But, I appreciate you saying that you're glad that you do care, that you have the ability to care. Love you
You are slightly evil. You know that, right? I'm glad I'm not in your class, and don't have to watch your video. I've FELT it, I definitely don't want to WATCH it. ;-) Sorry things are starting off a little rough, though. That's really lame that your voice isn't working right when you need it so much right now! I hope it's back to 100% by next week and that your class can go smoothly for you! Hang in there!
i hope you feel better soon...glad you got to have some fun with your students with that video. I would have loved the video...I really want to be in the room for a live birthy...besides my own children.
Hang in there Karen. You have gotten through this before (several times in fact) and you can do it again.
I'm sure you're a great teacher Karen. It would almost make me want to stick with Nursing if I had a teacher like you! Thanks for always being so sweet and fun when I was visiting!
-Sara's little sister
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